Respect All Relationships

Posted in: Public Relations by Ms. Ayo Fashola on July 17, 2008 2:08 pm

Qualities More Valuable

“Experts” agree that in order for an individual to engage in a business dealing with you, the know, like and trust factor must be in place. The person must know you, like you, and trust that you will deliver on your commitments and promises. I could not agree more. I feel more comfortable doing business with people who I’ve established these relationships with. But isn’t this how also personal friendships are established? All of my friends, people who I’ve built short and long-term relationships with are also founded on these core principles. My friends are all people who I know, like and trust. Although money may not always be exchanged between ourselves, we are exchanging value in the form of connections, contacts, ideas, emotional comfort, encouragement, sincerity, and support; qualities that I find more valuable than money. So why is it that we do not give our personal relationships the same level of respect, consideration, empathy and compassion that we are so readily able to give to our business relationships? Why do we take our personal relationships for granted? Is it because we feel that their worth is not as valuable as money?

Not a Fun Lunch Date

I was out to lunch with a gentleman yesterday that I’ll call Bill. Since I’m single and I am at a point in my life where I am ready to cultivate relationships with the opposite sex, I decided I’d feel more comfortable getting to know him over lunch. Nothing formal, just an opportunity to do a meet and greet and learn more about this man in a unthreatening nor over the top way. During our lunch date, his phone rang. He asked my permission if he could take the call because it was a “business call”; I allowed it. I patiently waited as he talked about one deal or another to whoever he spoke to. He apologized and then we proceeded to know each other. After about 10 minutes, his phone rang again. He asked if he could answer it. This time I thought his behavior was rude. Here I was taking time out of my schedule to engage this fellow who felt it was more important to take his “business calls” than to get to know me. I made a mental note. We continued to chat and then his phone rang again. He asked me for permission to answer and I flat-out told him “no” He begged me if he could, that he had waited for a phone call from a gentleman about something or the other. This time I felt disgusted, had enough and was ready to go. I became aware that I did not want to see this fellow again. Obviously he had not learned etiquette and I personally did not have the time or mental energy to teach him at this point in my life. NEXT!!!

Relationships Are Vital

Really? Aren’t relationships in general why we are here? Aren’t relationships why we do what we do? Is the desire for loving relationships why we work? Understand that whoever is in front of you or whoever has taken the time out of their busy schedule to visit with you, or speak with you presently is your most important priority. Everything and everyone else can wait unless it’s a life or death situation. I am forgiving once, if I like you, I’m lenient twice, but three times and I’m a missed opportunity.

Respect All Relationships

Monday…I schedule a lunch date with a gentleman I’ll call Bob. Attractive fellow I had met at a magazine party. He was in the car business and I want to get to know him in getting to know him and his work a little more. We both agreed to meet at a café for lunch at a particular time. I asked him where he would like to do lunch and he suggested that I pick the place. I did, and emailed him details about the time, place, address and even the website. We chatted back and forth via email and in my calendar confirmed that we will meet. I informed him to call me if there would be a change of plans. The day arrives, I drive to the place and send him a text to let him know I was at the café and sitting to the left when he arrives. He texts me back to tell me that he is still at work. I call him, and then he tells me I didn’t remind him. He doesn’t do lunches, his daughter has to confirm their plans, he doesn’t do lunches outside the office, he forgot, he eats at the office, he does dinner, and on and on. I asked why he could not make these “stipulations” clear to me in the beginning? I asked why he had not called me and he labels it as miscommunication. Already too complicated.  What he didn’t know was that I was in the market for a new car. Another missed opportunity.

People Matter

We are strategic, purposeful, focused, pulled-together, professional in our business relationships, but feel that everything will “magically” fall into place where it should in our personal relationships. We do not apply the same effort, nor give the same level of respect, care and attention as we describe it as being casual and laid back in our approach to the most important reason we are here on this earth: All Relationships. We complain  when instead our blessings are staring us right in the face. Be alert to the blessings that come to you and act at that moment. Image is not just about your nice shoes and fancy purses, image is also about your behavior, the way you treat yourself, the way you treat others, and how you want others to treat you. 

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Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Communication