Is That the Best You’ve Got?

Posted in: Public Relations by Ms. Ayo Fashola on March 25, 2009 8:10 pm

Time is too short for long conversations, a friend claimed when she updated her facebook status. That resonated with me. Who’s got all day? You’ve either got it or you don’t or you are working on getting it and you have a clearly defined plan. You only get one chance to make a great first impression. You can do it with style or without. The choice is yours, but whatever you choose, be prepared to deal with the consequences. Some do not care if your shirt is wrinkly or your jeans looked like you just picked them off the floor, others do care. The problem is, you can’t always predict who those people are that care from those that don’t, nor do you have control over how they will perceive you. The only thing you have control over is that you did put forth your very best.

To protect the innocent, i won’t mention names, but here is a story of a little scenario i encountered the other day.

Smart and Witty

My best friend encouraged a gentleman who had taken an interest in me to reach out to me, and i can onlyassume in a romantically. I had seen mild pictures of him on Facebook, so when he called me, i was open to getting to know him. I enjoyed our phone conversation and thought of him as smart and witty. I had high hopes and i hoped what i heard on the phone was who i was going to meet. Well we agreed to meet for breakfast yesterday and when i saw him, i was highly impressed. Not an inkling of style or care whatsoever, not an aura of pride or confidence.  He wore a t-shirt and jeans that seemed too big for him. Since i’m not a shallow person, i didn’t write him off completely at that point. I was nice and respectful and cordial and i proceeded to get to know him. I asked him questions about his goals and direction in life, what he desired to achieve in the next few years. He mentioned not being on any career or personal development path or self-improvement path. He had no clearly defined plans or path and was just trucking it day by day. Hmmmm.

Rebellious or Totally Clueless?

He knew what i did for a living and he knew how important style and image was to me before we met. His attitude and behavior communicated lack of self-respect.  He kept telling me on the phone Sunday that he was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, but i know…he would never go on a job interview dressed like that.  From his image, i got the impression he could care less. He really didn’t care if I would be into him or not and a myriad of not so positive messages unfortunately. He even talked about needing to loose weight. “Oh yeah..hot stuff come to mama with that lack of confidence.” I, on the other hand, wore dark wash straight leg jeans, a blue-red, ruffly romantic blouse, black cardigan, a black patent leather skinny belt and black patent leather shoes with rainbow colors on the tip. I had clearly put some thought into how i presented myself. Whether he agreed or disagreed with my style was not the point, more so that i had put in a conscious effort to put forth my best. He knew…he did not bring his A-game. He text ed me later that evening saying..“I should have gotten some rest. I was not at my best today, but i enjoyed meeting you, hopefully i get to see you again soon.” uhhh I THINK NOT!  Hence the value of making a great first impression. Time is too short for long conversations.  You’ve either got it or you don’t. If you ain’t got it…i can always respect someone who admits they are working on getting it. Now i’d like to think of myself as a pretty compassionate person, but he was sure to stress to me that being “Fashionable” was not his thing. Well someone who doesn’t care would be a perfect FIT for him, but sorry…not me. NEXT!

Bring Your A-Game

So..i read Steve Harveys new book called Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. We girls have been programmed to believe by (i wonder who) that men are visual creatures, WELL so are women or we wouldn’t shop as much as we do. Some of us girls actually like nice, pretty, attractive, or handsome things and men are not excluded. Why should a woman spend all of her time, energy and money to look and feel and be at her best and not demand the same level of energy, attention and respect from a man. Now i’m not saying that he should be in the mirror all day and be one of those metrosexuals or superficial freaks but it makes a huge difference when a man pays attention to 20% of his appearance, i.e. the details (something us girls can appreciate). I agree with Steve Harvey that women need to set higher standards and each woman has to define what that means to her. For me, i value a man with style and integrity, a man who looks like he is going places, that looks like his moving with a purpose and a plan, and actually is going places and has a purpose and a plan, not just living day to day in reactive mode and hoping the best happens. For me, these subtle clues are evident in a way a man carries himself, from his grooming, down to the fit of his jacket. Now, homeboy may not have been the best dressed, but if he was able to share with me some sort of path or direction and goals, i’d be willing to look past style for substance, but without either…i’m a lost opportunity. If you don’t care…i don’t…not for you at least. 

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Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Clothes, Color, Creative Ideas, Figure Style, Shopping