Clothes-The Self We Show the World

Posted in: Blog, Public Relations, Style Corner by Ms. Ayo Fashola on September 12, 2011 12:30 pm

As a Style Consultant, I can help a client to increase their confidence instantly by helping them to choose Feel Good Factor clothes! I also need to help my clients to feel good about devoting time to themselves and to their wardrobe; a certain amount of care should become a natural part of their everyday lifestyle.

Let’s remember at this point that our clothes are our outer image that is shown to the world. They are what people see of us before we’ve had a chance to say a word. Truth be told – its our clothes our body language and our grooming that people judge us on instantly. If this is the case, then surely we should all give a little more attention to how we dress to make sure our clothes are saying what we would like them to, and become aware of our body language our grooming or the lack of it!

If it’s the case that our clothes speak for us, it’s important to become aware of what exactly they might be saying so we can choose whether this is what we do or do not want. Choosing clothes that express what we want them to, can help us to gain confidence in who we are, attract like-minded people, tell people a little bit about how we see ourselves on the inside, how we expect to be treated, convey our interests and our lifestyle, communicate our preferred style etc.

What do your Clothes Say about You?

 

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Read through the following statements and notice which ones you most closely associate with and if you think your clothes articulate any of these at the moment:

• “I’m elegant and I enjoy being feminine”
• “I enjoy clothes and fashion and I’m full of confidence”
• “I’m a creative, artistic person who loves life, I’m a mother earth type of person”
• “ I am approachable, warm, friendly and caring, cuddly, lovable!”
• “I am stylish, chic and know what’s what—but I’m still an individual”
• “I respect, value and care about myself.”
• “I choose my clothes and accessories carefully—I make decisions with care and thoughtfulness.”
• I’m a romantic at heart and love anything pretty and feminine.”
• I’m a sensible, smart, sometimes chic but still practical.”
• “I’m a mother and a wife but I’m also my own person who deserves the time and respect of myself and others, I expect support from those around me.”
• “I am young and fresh—full of enthusiasm and energy. I’m really into design and love trying out new ideas”
• “I am confident in my decisions and I don’t need the approval of others. I’ll put together outfits in my own way that suits me.”
• “ I am a successful, well-paid, confident and professional, up-to-date in my ideas and my work.”
• “I have a fun-loving, colorful personality and I don’t take life to seriously.”

 

Write a few sentences detailing what you think your clothes might be saying about you at the moment.

 

 

 

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Our clothes can send out some very different messages that we may or may not be aware of. Our clothes might be saying:

• “I don’t value myself, everyone and everything is more important; I don’t want to be seen as selfish.”
• “I am stuck in a style rut.”
• “ I have no interest in clothes and makeup—it’s all just an expensive waste of time and money—anyway I don’t care what anyone thinks, I never have.”
• “I’m afraid of getting older—I want to say a teenager forever. I want to look like my daughters, sisters, not her mom!”
• “I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I like or what I want, my needs aren’t important anyway.”
• “I’m a mom now, I’ve given up on making the effort to look attractive-why would I- I’m married already!”
• “I’m a shy, quiet person—I like to blend in with the crowd, not attract any attention. My confidence and self-esteem are pretty low…”
• ‘”I’m a non person; I just want to blend in and not draw attention to myself.”
• “I shop on a very tight budget.”
• “I’m a doormat and I won’t be messed with! Anyway Doc Martins are comfortable.
•  I want to be seen as one of the guys. I gave up on feminine clothes a long time ago. Its easier.
• “I’m afraid to express my femininity because I don’t want to attract the wrong attention.”

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Whether or not it’s true, clothes can also say:

• “I’m on a really low salary, I haven’t had the opportunities that others have had, and I come from the poor side of town…”
• “My life’s chaotic, no time—no routine—no structure, I’m a walking disaster!”
• “I haven’t the confidence to make decisions for myself, I like to wait to be told by magazines what to wear, what to buy, what’s the latest “must have,”  etc!”
• “My self-worth is dependent on the labels I wear—the more I spend, the better I feel—I’ll worry about the credit card debt later! I’m irresponsible.”
• “My self-worth comes from male attention! Any attention for that matter…”
• “It’s too much effort to look good all the time—it’s bad enough a couple of times a year for special occasions. I really couldn’t be bothered. I’m lazy”
• “I’m too fat to look good—clothes won’t make any difference, I settle with baggy trousers and ten t-shirts because they’re comfortable…”

Clothes can tell us about someone’s mental and emotional style. Most of these messages we hear boil down to the same few common reasons:

• Depression: Lack of interest in self, sadness, lethargy, disillusioned, tiredness….
• Laziness: Can’t be bothered, too much effort…
• Lack of Confidence: Afraid of making mistakes, afraid of criticism or disapproval, uncertainty, self-doubt
• Low Self-Esteem: I’m not worth it, I’m not important, I don’t matter, not attractive, nobody cares, lack of self-respect, lack of respect for others
• Self-Sabotage & Negative Self Beliefs: I’m too skinny/fit, I’m too old/young, I’m not good looking enough, I’m a funny shape, I’m too masculine, I’m too shy, I don’t know how, I’m a mom, I’m a grandmother, I’m forty-I’m fifty…

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No matter where you are in your style or what your clothes say, Ayo can help.

Ayo Fashola will be in Dallas during the month of October. Schedule a Style and Wardrobe Session with Ayo between September 1-15 and take advantage of this exciting introductory offer. Click here for details. 

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